The Pig That Got Away
by randomperson995
Summary: Gir meets the love of his life and decides to get married. However, it might leave him heartbroken. GIR BASICALLY MARRIES A PIG, I DON'T KNOW WHY I WROTE THIS.


It was bright and sunny, the sun was beautiful. I decided to talk to the sun for about an hour. I sang it my doom song! Although then the sun started being mean and made my eyes all burny. But then Master made me get away from the window before any of the humans saw me.

So thennnn, I put on my doggy costume, but I really wanted to be a mongoose. I like mongooses. But Master said I couldn't so I just wore the doggy costume. As soon as I left the door, I went to the taco truck, and sang a song about it. Then I realized, I oiled myself, so I had to go change. Then I remembered that I forgot my tacos! I found them though, but Master said they were pillows and made me stop eating them. I like master. He has a funny head. But thennn I remembered I that I was running on empty, so then I tried eating Master's head. His big, juicy head, with those yummy brains. The he got mad and threw me outside. I like outside.

And that was when I saw it. A magnificent beauty like no other.

It was pinkest, fattest, cutest, most beautiful pig I have ever seeded!

I felt a strange tingly feeling in my stomach area. It made my antenna twitch, and my chest squeeze. My cheeks heated up and I thought I was overheating, but it was a good feeling so I ignored it. It was such a good feeling, it almost made me want to throw up the pillow I had eaten. I had only felt this one other time before, when I got to dance with the big headed kid's sister. She's pretty. But she wasn't near as pretty as this piggy that stood before me.

Slowly, I walked toward the piggy. It looked at me with his big, sparkling, brown eyes. I reached out my hand and patted it's head. It made an oinking noise, and I couldn't stop thinking about it's big, pretty nose. It made me feel even warmer. I checked my internal thermomater, it said I was overheating Maybe I should go tell Master that something was wrong. But... he's still pretty mad at I tried eating his head, so I'll leave him alone... For now.

Meanwhile, me and the piggy went to go get some tacos. A lot of the humans were staring at me for bringing my piggy friend into the taco place and that I was a dog ordering tacos, but humans were dumb... like Master says!

So after we got our tacos we took a walk to visit Mary and tell him about our luv! ...I think that's what it's called...

We held hands the entire way, skipping and eating tacos. When we got there I opened his door and walked inside. I saw Mary's pretty sister sitting on the couch playing her video game and I starting feeling funny. I held the pigs hand tighter and walked up to her.

"...HIIIIIIII! I didn't expect to see you here..."

She looked up from her game and looked at me with her squinty eyes. "This is my house... I _live_ here."

I stared at her for a moment. "I _had_ no idea. I've moved on. I found a new luv."

"Whatever." she went back to playing.

"I KNOW YOU MUST BE UPSET, BUT PLEASE TRY NOT TO MAKE A SCENE IN FRONT OF MY NEW FIANCE."

"Gir, I really don't care who you marry, now get out of my house."

Suddenly big headed boy came downstairs and asked what was going on. He chased me outside and me and piggy ran away. But then I realized the whole reason why I came over here! I needed to talk to Dibby about wedding plans! I started throwing rocks at Mary's house, to get his attention. He stated yelling at me, a lot like Master does. I think Master and Dibby would make a good couple. But Master would never admit his feelings.

After getting chased by Dib some more, we went back to the base. Master wasn't too happy about me bringing a piggy into the house but he didn't care enough to yell at me like before. I went straight to my room and got out my crayons and started making wedding invitations.

When they were done I gave one to Master, Dibby, Gaz and the taco man. Master just said "sure, yeah, whatever" and went back on working on his latest invention. Dibby got confused about the invitation. Master did say he was stupid, which is odd since he has such a big head. If you were going to have a head that big, why would you fill it with stupid instead of smartness? Gaz gave me a weird look when I gave her her invitation. But she gave me that look when I did anything for her. She's so silly.

It was time for the wedding! Everyone showed up, even Master who wasn't too happy about having to put off work, but this was special! I polished my metal and the piggy was dressed in a very pretty pink dress. Nobody else was dressed up though, but that was okay, because they weren't that important! I made Master be the guy who says all those funny words before me and piggy kissed.

"We are gathered here today for some stupid, filthy earth tradition no one cares about, blah blah bah, you may now kiss the filth beast, can I PLEASE go now?"

I smiled big and gave the piggy a big kiss right on it's lips! I was so happy!

But then the piggy saw something and ran away. I stared for a minute, then started to cry.

She left me! We got married and she left me! I thought we were gonna grow old together and make waffles every morning!

Suddenly Master came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. "So can I kill the filthy, stink bag beast now?"

"This is stupid, why did I come here in the first place?" Dib said.

"SILENCE!" Master tackled Mary and they started fighting.

I stood there crying and looked over to Gaz who was playing her video game still. I walked over and gave her a hug. She growled but she didn't push me away. "Piggy left me Gazzy."

"Don't call me Gazzy."

"Yeah... I'm gonna miss piggy too..."

After that, everything went back to normal. Well almost normal. I started following Gazzy around a lot more. Everyone was happy. So happy in fact, I ate a taquito.

THEEEEE EEEEEND


End file.
